You've Been Trying to Think Your Way Into a Different Experience
You know your patterns. You can articulate exactly what you do in relationships—how you lose yourself, put her on a pedestal, override your boundaries to keep her happy, then resent her when she doesn't meet needs you never voiced.
You've studied attachment theory. You know you're enmeshed with your mom. You understand "nice guy syndrome" and can spot your people-pleasing from a mile away.
But when you're actually in it—when she texts, when conflict arises, when you feel that pull to abandon yourself—all that knowledge disappears.
You're back in the familiar pattern, wondering why you can't just do what you know you should do.
The Problem Isn't That You Don't Know Enough
The problem is that knowing lives in your head, but your nervous system is running a completely different program.
Your body learned what relationships mean long before you had language for it. You absorbed the "vibe" of your household—how your parents related, what closeness felt like, whether you were safe to be yourself, what you had to do to get attention.
Those patterns are stored somatically. Which is why:
You can know she's not your mom, but your body still braces for engulfment when she gets close
You can know you should set boundaries, but something in you shuts down when it's time to speak
You can know this woman is healthy for you, but you feel nothing - while the ones who aren’t treating you like you’d hope lights you up
You're not broken. You're not "too much." You just haven't connected the intellectual understanding to the felt experience in your body.
That's what this container does.
What This Is
A 7-week live group experience for men who are ready to stop studying their patterns and start feeling the shift.
We'll use guided somatic experiences that let you step into your family dynamics from multiple perspectives—including your parents'—so you can finally feel what was actually happening instead of just analyzing it. This is what allows the intellectual understanding to drop into your body and become wisdom you can act on.
Here's What We'll Cover:
Weeks 1-3 & 5: Guided Relational Perspective Work
We'll move through four core experiences:
The Blueprint - The relational "vibe" you absorbed growing up, and how your parents' dynamic set the template for what you expect in adult relationships
Your Worth & The Masculine - What you viscerally learned about your value, safety, and whether you could trust the masculine to hold you (this is foundational to how you show up now)
What Closeness Means - The dynamic you had with your mother and how it created your associations with intimacy (and the fear of engulfment or abandonment you're now projecting onto women)
Scarcity & Competition - The felt experience of competing for love and attention, and how it's running in the background of your relationships (making you either anxiously compliant or chronically fighting to be seen)
Week 4: Integration Week (Thanksgiving) No live call. Your only job is to notice what's different - in your body, in how you see familiar dynamics, in how you respond to people you've known for years. The shifts happen without you having to "do" anything differently yet.
Weeks 6-7: Building New Patterns
Live coaching to help you install new habits - pausing before reacting, building somatic tolerance for healthy love, and practicing new responses in real-time before the next wave of holiday interactions.
The Details
When: November 6 - December 18, 2025
6 live group calls (60-90 minutes each)
Week off for Thanksgiving (November 24-30)
What's Included:
6 live group coaching calls
Recordings of all sessions (yours to keep)
Private group chat for support between calls
Integration practices (journal prompts or guided meditations to deepen the work)
Investment: $697
Group Size: Limited to 12-15 men so we can maintain depth and personal feel
What You Can Expect
Immediately:
After the relational perspective work, men typically leave feeling calmer, clearer, and more validated in what they've been perceiving. You'll finally be able to take action on what you know instead of talking yourself out of it. You'll feel like "I can't mess this up"—not from anxiety, but from groundedness.
Over Time:
The results compound for weeks and months after the container ends. You'll notice:
Relationships come off the pedestal - "If she opts out, it's because she wants something different" feels true in your body, not just a mental reframe you're trying to convince yourself of
You see your patterns in real-time - The limerence, the boundary violations, the ways you've been overriding yourself - they become visible, sometimes in the moment, sometimes in hindsight
You feel safe being yourself - You reconnect with parts of yourself you didn't know existed or have been silencing for years. This is what allows you to show up authentically and powerfully instead of performing
You recognize where you need to protect yourself - Not from a place of defensiveness, but from authority. You see where you've been overextending and what boundaries you need to stay regulated
You have a visceral sense that change is possible - Not as a concept, but as a felt reality
This Is For You If:
✓ You've been to therapy, watched all the YouTube videos, read the books—you know your attachment style and can name your patterns
✓ You're not looking to be "fixed"—you're looking for refinement in how you apply what you've learned
✓ You recognize you're stuck in the knowing-doing gap and need the somatic piece to integrate all that intellectual understanding
✓ You're willing to spend time in introspection and let yourself feel challenged by what you discover
✓ You're open to feedback and see this as collaboration, not outsourcing your healing to someone else
✓ You recognize the pattern—you meet someone with that quality you can't stop thinking about, and you wonder if you'll ever find anyone else "like that" (when really, she's reflecting something you need to develop in yourself)
✓ You've heard other creators talk about how enmeshment with your mom shows up as an inability to stand up for yourself with women—and that lands for you
This Is NOT For You If:
✗ You need everything to be literal and can't work with imagination or visualization
✗ You're looking to outsource responsibility for your healing ("just tell me what to do" or "they're just not a good coach")
✗ You need proof before you're willing to try something new—you're not willing to lean in and see what happens
✗ You're blame-oriented and not willing to own your part in the pattern
✗ You're not ready to feel discomfort or sit in the confusion that comes with growth
A Note About Timing
We're starting the first week of November and finishing before Christmas for a reason.
The holidays are when your family patterns get activated. This container gives you the awareness and the tools to navigate that activation differently - to see the dynamics clearly, to stay regulated in your body, to practice showing up as the version of yourself you're becoming instead of regressing into old roles.
You're not going to be perfect. But you're going to be different. And you're going to know it.
Why This Works When Other Things Haven't
Most men in my world have done a lot of work. But they're still stuck because the work has been intellectual.
Your nervous system doesn't care about frameworks. It responds to felt experience.
The guided somatic work lets you experience your family dynamics in your body—not analyze them, not talk about them, but feel them. By stepping into different perspectives within your family system, you get information your cognitive mind couldn't access. When you can feel what your mom or dad was bringing to the dynamic, your body finally understands "it wasn't about me," and that's when the pressure releases.
That's when the intellectual understanding finally drops in and becomes embodied.
You stop thinking about what you should do and start knowing what to do because your body is finally aligned with your mind.
You Already Know If This Is For You
If you've read this far, something in you recognizes this is the missing piece.
You're done intellectualizing.
You're ready to feel the shift.
You’re not alone.
If you have additional questions, feel free to email me at courtneyschandcoaching@gmail.com